i do it to myself.

my feet are numb and blue
from hanging on your hook
i'd like to walk around again,
but i'm not quite done dangling
i do it to myself

running would be preferable,
but i'm scared i couldn't bear the weight
too weak to let myself collapse,
powerless and denying it

so revolting seeing myself reflected
in someone else's eyes
i'd rather be blind
i do it to myself

never ending, i'm not changing
just exchanging names and faces
this revolving door is clogged with bodies now
i do it to myself

i do it to myself
and i'm the orchestrator of my my pain
at least i'm not picking up again,
tell yourself, that's what i tell myself
i do it to myself